Daddy/Son and gay ageism

So I’ve noticed on the gay websites(of that there are plenty) a number of older men exploring their generous nature. It bothered me as a young gay man as I wasn’t looking for a replacement father or sugar daddy. I wanted to be understood and loved and I felt the experience of someone older would assist me in getting just that. Not only would I have their experience in the bedroom but I would be able to learn how to be comfortable with being a gay man, and how to handle the judgments and hatred from those closed-minded individuals, again from those who have lived it longer than I.

What I’ve noticed is the need for the elder gays to buy attention. I’ve noticed younger men playing to the crowd and accepting gifts. I’ve noticed a whole culture that does nothing unless it’s for some kind of gain; money, cars, furs, and trips.  That our culture give gay for pay a whole other meaning. So is it something out of necessity  for the older demographic? Slightly but there are those chasing just to be nurtured with no money exchange. The Daddy/Son union is one of nurture, and some of control.  Those men who were bread to be a father and have tendencies along those lines that find willing young men looking to be guided in that way.

But what of those older gay men that simply want the same thing they wanted as a young man, a stable partner and love. It’s out there for you but just like in the straight community, with age comes fewer opportunities.  Requirements have to be tempered as the gym buddy isn’t really going to step in that direction.  It’s not to say you don’t deserve a cover model, but expect more rejection than most.  One should have an idea of what they are capable of getting and not set their sights too high.  That truth plays out no matter what age you are.

I must admit I have seen less and less profiles and gay personals by older gays looking for other older gay men.  The complaints of those men fall more on def ears for me as they must think what they were like in those young years.  Did you previous reject a senior gay, or even 10 years your senior?  If it was good for you then one can’t expect different treatment now.

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About psbgbm

Aspiring novelist, practicing Buddhist, thinker, attempting some level of vegetarianism, lover of love

Posted on February 22, 2012, in gay issues and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. thanks.very good blog and very good share.

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