Its Halloween. A time for the children to get dressed up as Ironman, Elsa from Frozen (the songs are now cringe-worthy), and zombies. For adults it’s a time for sexy nurse, fireman, first time drag, and okay zombies too (no doubt sexy). But another part to the adult routine is that all important shot of whatever alcoholic beverage that suits their fancy. It will be at a house party, work function, or in many cases, The Club. So what’s wrong with that? A little costume, a little drink, get a little turnt up (I’m so moving away from slang in general), and just letting loose because it’s Halloween and a chance to not be you for a day.
A few years ago I pretty much stopped going to the bars. I really no longer had a taste for most liquors (margaritas still have my heart), and I barely drank juices since going organic and more whole foods centric. It became a chore to go out, watch the drunk become more drunk and continuously be asked why I’m not taking a shot. I still had and have a beer or a glass of wine but the lets pound it down side of me had transitioned to the sip and conversation person I am now, and if I’m being honest always truly was. So why did I for years deviate from my nature? I wanted to fit in. I had very little confidence in who I was to understand I can be separate and a part of the team simultaneously and I conformed. But what truly got me to step away from this every weekend behavior was witnessing the stranglehold alcohol had on many of my gay friends and the community as a whole.
Unpopular as it is to admit but our community goes in on the drinking. Yes we can all hit Instagram and Facebook and see our straight counterparts having a ball similar to our own. It’s an outside looking in perspective I choose not to indulge to make one feel better about their Tuesday karaoke and drinks, Wednesday stripper night at the club and drinks, Thursday stripper night at the other club and drinks, regular Friday and Saturday club nights and double drinks, or and the Sunday drag brunch and oh wait, drinks. Let’s not forget about pregame at the crib because God forbid they arrive sober and actually look at the threes and fours they are trying to take home by the end of the night. Judgmental party of me?
In all honesty I hurt. My perspective is my eye-witness account over the years. It’s a collage of different people all knocking it back in the name of socializing but for me, I saw them drinking to avoid real interaction. I often times suggested other activities that required thought, words, and a lack of Rhianna in the background. I observed when they looked at their watch for the end and suggested drinks to finish the night or start their second shift away from me. I remember all too well once that Fireball gets them right, how their mouths reveal so much, and while sometimes a drink is a drink, a party is a party and a wild night is an occasional thing; this is not the case in my opinion for the majority of gay men that frequent the clubs and bars in most cities.
I tend to avoid giving a list of possibilities or answers. This is all my opinion, derived from my experiences and what others shared with me. I will give you what it’s not, and it isn’t shame. It’s easy to go their first and say the gays drink because they are ashamed to be gay and long for a straight lifestyle. While there are those that dull the realities of being in a minority category as the LGBT community with drinking, that is not the vast majority of us. We come to grips with our sexuality and just want to live and thrive like everyone else (truly we do it better than most). But think for a moment about why you started to get “white girl wasted” in the first place, and why that is a goal for you every time you go out. Think about your drunk friend that embarrasses you and why they might be throwing it back so hard and with such frequency. And really, think about how often you see nothing wrong with leaving your car in the parking lot overnight because that Jaeger was that good, even after the seventh one.
It’s Halloween so please do it up. But after the masks come off, did you find another one?